Let's Face Our Fears! (A.K.A. I'm Doing It Scared and It's Awesome!)

I’m scared.

I have thoughts and experiences that I want to share with the world. I have lessons that I have learned that I think can help others. I have a lot of hopes and dreams and things that I want to do.

But I’m scared.

I’m scared of going unnoticed. I’m scared of others seeing my vulnerability. I’m scared that no one cares. I’m scared that I might be in this alone. I’m scared of judgement. I’m scared of failure. I’m scared of success. I’m scared of clowns. I’m scared of corn fields.

I often have this picture of myself where I am sitting on the floor, wadded up in a little ball, hiding my head while the world if going on around me, never seeing that I’m just sitting there in the middle of everything. And when I peek out from my ball, I find that what I thought was a crowded room was actually an empty room and I am all alone.

What does it mean? I’m not totally sure. But it also scares me. What I am sure of is this - having these fears does not make me special. Every person on this planet - whether they want to admit it or not - has something that will stop them in their tracks for at least half a heartbeat.

And as scared as I am, I am still showing up every day. I’m still pushing through. I’m still trying.

All over the news and television, you see people talking about the fact that anxiety diagnoses and treatment are at an all time high. Do you know what anxiety is? It’s a manifestation of fear. To understand how to overcome anxiety, you first need to understand the fears that trigger the panic.

The number one thing that holds us back from achieving our goals in life is fear. The number one thing that stops us from starting to pursue our dreams is fear. FDR wasn’t wrong when he said that the only thing we have to fear is fear. He was dead on.

These realizations are not entirely mine. A super smart woman named Ruth Soukup already attacked this topic head on, found a team and did a bunch of research on it. And now she is trying to help people understand and overcome their fears so they can live their best lives.

Ruth (can I call her Ruth?) believes that there are 7 fear archetypes and that everyone has one primary archetype that drives their fear and holds them back. For example, I am a "people pleaser." My secondary archetype is "self-doubter" with "procrastinator" (a.k.a. the perfectionist) coming in not far behind. This was not shocking news to me. “People pleaser” at least sounds better than “doormat.”

Other archetypes include the rule follower, the outcast, the excuse maker and the pessimist. On her website, Do It Scared, you can take an assessment that will tell you your primary archetype. For a small fee, you can get a full assessment that will tell you your top 3 - since people tend to fall into more than one. She also explores all of this and more on her totally free Do It Scared podcast that I am growing quite fond of.

And because Ruth is totally awesome, you can also head over to Amazon and have her newly released book Do It Scared delivered to your mailbox so you can do a deeper dive on your archetype. I recently snagged a copy for myself and I’m so very glad that I did!

I sat down right away and started reading about all of the best and worst attributes that I have as a “people pleaser.” For example, we “people pleasers” are super awesome to have as friends and some of the nicest people you will ever meet! (The book also says we “tend to be popular and well-liked” - I’m taking that part up with the “self-doubter” archetype later.)

The great thing about this book is that it is the type of book that you don’t have to read cover to cover for it to be effective. You can start with your archetype and then be directed to the chapters that most closely relate to your specific fears. If you take the full assessment, you can go back and look at your secondary archetypes and learn about those too.

It is written in a way that allows you to find just what pertains to you or what you want to learn about someone else  - without having to take in a lot of content that you just don’t want to know at the moment. You can always revisit that chapter on pessimists at a later date when a negative mood strikes. You can read and reread and learn something new with each passing.

It is super important to know and understand what fuels your fears and holds you back. It is the first step to understanding what triggers your anxiety and the first hint and knowing how to combat it when you need to. Think of her assessment, podcast, and awesome new book as an inexpensive form of thought provoking therapy for when your therapist isn’t around.

Without fear, you can’t have courage. Ruth would tell you, if you were lucky enough to sit and have a chat over coffee with her, that courage is knowing that you are scared and doing the thing that makes you scared anyway. No one can get anywhere in life without being a little uncomfortable. And every successful person on this planet had to take that first step outside of their comfort zone at some point to get where they are now.

So why not me?

I’m super afraid to be vulnerable. I’m afraid that people aren’t going to like what I have to say or what I am trying to accomplish. I’m afraid that people won’t be interested when I try to host a Positivity PowWow or (eventually I hope) a Women’s Positivity Retreat (to be given a cute name later). I’m afraid that people will think what I’m doing is stupid. I’m afraid people will laugh when I’m not trying to be funny.

But you know what, it doesn’t matter what people think. If I reach only one person, I have made a difference. That is what I have set out to do. And if you are still with me right now, I clearly connected to you. And that proves that Doing It Scared can be a success.

Let’s do it again soon!

I'm not at all joking. I'm sharing this book with you because I really think you might think it is totally awesome!  Head on over to Amazon and order your copy of Do It Scared by Ruth Soukup!  It's probably way better than the new Chucky movie!  Since I don't like those types of movies - I will just have to trust my instinct on this one.