Day Dating...

It started like any other Sunday.  We slept in a bit. He made some frozen waffles. I had some pop tarts. We both were drinking some coffee, sitting in the living room and watching hoarders. The cat was curled up next to me. He likes to sit on me on the weekends to make sure I’m not going anyplace.

The Sunday morning of married life with a kid off at college. Totally exotic. There were tons of chores i was ignoring. I needed to clean something or wash something.  I was planning to do it. Kinda. Maybe. Maybe not.

The hubs usually bowls on Sunday evenings for 8 months a year while I sit home, eat Mac and cheese, watch Netflix and mentally prepare myself for Monday. Last week was his night for the season which means for the next four months, I have a husband on Sunday again. Just in time for lawn cutting and pool cleaning.

One of the things I look forward to is the opportunity to make a good weekend worthy dinner. The kind that involves chopping and sautéing and ingredients and takes time. Not the kind that gets thrown together after 8 hours of work and a 45 minute commute.

So here it is our first Sunday and I say “what would you like for dinner and don’t say ‘I don’t know’”. To which he responded with “I don’t know.”

I was thinking pasta or bbq or pot roast.  Those could be nice.

And then he said with a mischievous grin, “I did have one thought.”

“Uh oh,” I responded.

And then he asked me on a day date.

When we were dating 17+ years ago, Sunday afternoons were our date days. I was a single mom and getting out for the typical bar scene of 20 somethings just wasn’t easy for me. But on Sunday’s, my daughter was supposed to be with her biological father. It didn’t always happen, which is a longer story. But when it did, that was when we went on dates.

Most Sunday’s, we would head to a local pool hall with hourly table rentals, a bar and a jukebox. We would take over the corner table and flirt over the 8 ball. I would drink Midori sours while I annoyed him with Christina Aguilera singing about genies in bottles.  He would drink beer and show off with his own personal pool cue in a box.

I recently played a few games of pool in our companies charity pool tournament. I forgot how much fun I thought it was. I sent him a text and told him that I advanced through technicality and that I had a sudden craving for a Midori sour.

So on this totally routine Sunday afternoon when I asked him what he wanted for dinner, he instead suggested we go on a day date to the pool hall that we used to go to back when we were dating. I was like a giddy school girl.  As I did my makeup, I asked our cat, “do you think my date will think I’m pretty?” He meowed back in disgust. That’s how he usually responds to any question.

We spent two hours playing pool. We didn’t talk about our daughter. We didn’t talk about laundry or dishes or yard work or bills. We didn’t stare at the tv with mindless abandon.

We flirted over the 8 ball. We trash talked each other. We sent bad vibes in the direction of the cue ball.  We took over the jukebox which we felt was playing too much rap. Instead we brought ska music and classic rock back. I won three games by technicalities. He won three games by kicking my ass.

We just existed together and had fun.  Like we did before we had a joint mortgage.

I spent the whole day smiling.  We fell in love over those pool tables, yet I’m pretty sure we haven’t been since we got married.  Don’t get me wrong. We still occasionally go out, but date nights now usually involve a trip to Target.

I think that it is common to forget that even though we are married, dating is something we can still do.  The minutiae of life takes over and we forget the way things used to be.

My heart is so full right now and all it took was a couple hours in a pool hall.  It didn’t take a fancy dinner or flowers or a trip around the world. It just took a reminder of how we fell in love to begin with. A reminder of the fact that we can just enjoy each other’s company.

I highly recommend it to anyone. Take my advice on this. We have 15+ years of marriage and 2 additional years of being together before that of experience.  In most fields that kind of experience qualifies you to be an expert.

To get you started, here are a few day date ideas:

1. Go play pool. I mean it was fun for us. It could be fun for you. Bowling could also work. Or darts. Or mini golf. Or top golf - if you have a top golf.  Anything that gives you a little playful competition.
2. Go to the zoo. Seriously. How much fun do adults have at the zoo when they go with their kids? Very little. It’s all about the perfect picture and not paying $40 for ice cream and making sure your kid doesn’t fall into the giraffe encounter. Way more stress than fun.  Pretend to be kids together again. Hold hands. Walk. Point. Selfie. Repeat. And while you are there, pick up a membership so you can do it again with your kids later.
3. Check out a museum.  See above. Do the same.
4. Be a tourist in your own city. Hit up the most iconic tourist attraction in your area. See what the fuss is about.  Buy a souvenir to remember the day. Something super corny. We like magnets.
5. Escape room!  It’s all the rage. And you aren’t REALLY locked in the room. I honestly thought it was when I first heard about it. I thought it was like being locked in a haunted house. But it’s just a big puzzle in a room. They will let you out if you have a panic attack. I hope.
6. Winery day!  Okay. I just really like wine. So I will offer this up as a suggestion for anything. Birthday. Anniversary. Kid is finally potty trained. Winery day!  But seriously. It’s fun. Pack a picnic basket, do some tastings, make fun of the bridal parties, drink some wine. But be responsible. You are adults.

Seriously, just think about what you did when you were dating. How did you fall in love?  You can still do those things. It doesn’t matter that you are 30 or 40 or 50. Who cares if someone thinks you look out of place or silly. It isn’t about them. It’s about you and the love of your life.

Have a unique day date idea?  Tell me about it! I’m always looking for a new adventure!